Dolores Umbridge Appreciation Thread

I recently decided to take a harrowing journey down the dark and weird alley known as the ‘Harry Potter’ Franchise. Around every corner there was uncertainty and grown adults running around with little sticks with children around no less. Logical and moral issues abound at the backwards thinking school of Hogwarts. Administrators and teachers with hidden agendas who play favorites instead of trying to teach all the promising little wizards with equality. Worse of all was the unruly little brats running around everywhere with no discipline and lack of respect for their elders. However, there would be one bright shining pink star amongst the drab mix of gray and lawlessness.

In the Sorcerer’s or Philosopher’s Stone (they can’t even figure what name they want to go by) we meet the three main miscreants of Harry, Ron and Hermoine as they run a muck of the “prestigious” school and are allowed to do so. These three would continue their mischievous and rule breaking ways for three more films where they would use potions and spells they shouldn’t. Harry constantly uses magic around normal human folk without any penalty which is supposed to be forbidden. This is just a taste of the numerous acts of debauchery by these three especially Mr. Potter.

However, this all changes the day a lovely and charming knight in pink armor arrives to reestablish order among the wicked, to bring discipline to the lawless, to bring vibrant colors to the bland world of wizarding and that lovely creatures name is Dolores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton)!


Professor Umbridge is assigned as the new “Defence Against the Dark Arts” at Hogwarts and is an immediate upgrade to their previous teachers. Upon her introduction she gives an eloquent and inspiring speech the rug rats of Hogwarts that of course went in one ear and out the other.

The lovely Professor Umbridge isn’t but a few minutes into her first class before Harry and his cohorts are showing disrespect toward her by questioning her sound methods and speaking out of turn without raising their hands first. As she tries to teach her practical application to the Dark Arts, Harry shows further disrespect in which Professor Umbridge is left with no choice but to send him to detention for incessant arguing and whining. She is a model of composure where as others would have just let him carry on, but I would have lost my mind.

During the detention she is as cordial and pleasant as a fuzzy pastel button with someone who had been disrespectful toward her just moments ago. Who else shows this much grace? She even offers to let the little annoyance use her special quill. Such a sweetheart. She simply wants him to write “I must not tell lies.” I don’t know what more you would want from a teacher to a student really. Within moments she has taught Harry a valuable lesson the only way a dedicated teacher can. A lesson he should have been taught years ago but won’t soon forget.

Because you know, deep down, you deserve to be punished.” Yes, he does Dolores. You punish that little brat!

And because of her damn fine work we see her climb the ranks and gain power in Hogwarts to help turn that place around by not only whipping the children into shape but also the other faculty there she saw as unfit. She would be there to thwart every one of Harry’s dastardly plans to go against what he has been instructed. She simply institutes new rules and regulations to make Hogwarts a better place with order and discipline.

And in perhaps my favorite and most relished moment of hers (and the entire series really), something I have dreamed of myself for some time even before watching these films and that’s ask Harry, “what does the five fingers say to the face?!”

It is an absolute travesty what Harry and those dirty Centaurs did to the gorgeous ball of cotton candy by dragging her away like that. Typical disrespect. All the lovely Professor Umbridge wanted to do was teach these kids order and respect in a meaningful way that would benefit them for years to come.

Here are several reasons to love and admire the perfect teacher-

She just wants to be friends


She encourages students to tell the truth


She readily hands out compliments


Is always polite


Even wants to help her peers meet their goals and help with their short comings


Wants to let the children know they are safe


Makes sure the student know they are here to learn


Lastly, she is a bright shiny pink diamond in a putrid and drab world of wizarding with their various shades of black, gray and brown.


Dolores Jane Umbridge is the hero that Hogwarts and the world deserves but not the one it needs right now. She will be ridiculed for her beliefs but because she can handle it. She is not a hero but a smiling guardian, a tea sippin protector, she is the Pink Knight!