Welcome to the FilmExodus Overview, where every month all the original content –reviews, opinions, editorials— is collected and presented in one easy to reach location, with bonus commentary from M. Karlston!
Review – AFI 100
- Let’s Talk About… ‘Cabaret’ (1972)
- Let’s Talk About… ‘The Grapes of Wrath’ (1940)
- Let’s Talk About… ‘Tootsie’ (1982)
- Let’s Talk About… ’12 Angry Men’ (1957)
Review – Classic Film Talk
Review – Comics
Review – Double Impact
- [Double Impact] ‘Runaway’ (1984)
- [Double Impact] ‘Gator’ (1976)
- [Double Impact] ‘My Bloody Valentine 3D’ (2009)
Review – Fear Flashback Friday
- Fear Flashback Friday: ‘Tarantula’
- Fear Flashback Friday: ‘Scanners’
- Fear Flashback Friday: ‘Event Horizon’
- Fear Flashback Friday: ‘Oasis of the Zombies’
Review – Horror Korner
Review – Monsoon-A-Day
Review – Other
Open Thread – What’s On the Grill?
- August 29th — September 5th
- September 5th — September 12th
- September 12th — September 19th
- September 19th — September 26th
Editorial – Top 10
Editorial – Other
- When Romance Turns Deadly: Humble Beginnings
- Horrific Scenes From Non-Horror Movies: ‘Full Metal Jacket’ (1987)
- When Romance Turns Deadly: The Modern Domestic Thriller
- Horrific Scenes From Non-Horror Movies: ‘No Country For Old Men’ (2007)
- When Romance Turns Deadly: The Postmodern Domestic Thriller
- ‘Ocean’s 8’ and The Perfect Crime
- Vincent Kane’s 31 Days of Halloween (2018)
Just For Fun
- Checking It Twice: Films of the 1970s (List Challenges)
- Tom Cruise’s Fake Filmography: Jokes based on the Titles
- Let Them Fight! George Miller vs. John Woo
- Monsoon’s Movie Quiz
- Monsoon’s Movie Quiz #2
- 2018 FilmExodus Summer Box Office Wager Results
- Checking It Twice: Tom Cruise Filmography
- Jake Gyllenhaal’s Fake Filmography: Jokes based on the title
- Let Them Fight! Bong Joon-ho vs. Taika Waititi
- Monsoon’s Movie Quiz #3
- Ryan Gosling’s Fake Filmography: Jokes based on the title
- Let Them Fight! Alejandro Jodorowsky vs. Werner Herzog
- Monsoon’s Movie Quiz #4
- Nicolas Cage’s Fake Filmography: Jokes Based on the Title
- Let Them Fight! Neil Marshall vs. M. Night Shyamalan
- Monsoon’s Movie Quiz #5
- Checking It Twice: 1980-1984 Films (List Challenges)
- Favorite Kevin Hart Role
THE EXILES OF EXODUS
CHAPTER I: MIDNIGHT IN PARIS
JULY 31, 2018 – 1130 HOURS
Dhalgren and Alvarez signed in at the main office and headed down the corridor to the Director of Basic Movie Infiltration’s office. As they neared the office the walls slowly changed from its out of date wallpaper to the finest velvet money could buy.
“You know, I still do not understand the Director’s obsession with velvet.” Dhalgren said.
“He’s Canadian,” Alvarez said. “What more do you need to understand?”
A cough echoed from behind them. “You two finished?”
Dhalgren and Alvarez turned around. “Director.”
“Step into my office, we need to talk.”
The Director slid two file folders across his table. Dhalgren and Alvarez each picked up one.
“Yesterday, the film archives in Paris were bombed. Cleanup crews have not been able to swift through all the debris yet, but it looks like it the bombing was just a ruse to prevent us from figuring out what exactly was stolen from the archives.”
“Any leads?” Dhalgren asked.
“Just one. Security cameras picked up what we believe is the bomber. Our French division is currently going over the footage hoping to pull some facial recognition.”
“So what’s the mission?” Alvarez said.
“You and Dhalgren will fly to Paris tonight. Karlston is already on his way there now. The three of you will take lead on this mission. You will rendezvous with our French operative Pops at a popup bagel shop underneath the Eiffel Tower. She will relay you the information and show you the site of the bombing.”
The Director looked at them. “You are 0SCAR agents. You improvise. You follow the leads. You figure out what is going on and stop whoever is doing it. There has to be some motive to the bombing, and I suspect that it will lead to something that will endanger the moviemaking world.”
Alvarez and Dhalgren nodded. The Director nodded back. “You two are dismissed. Report to Monsoon for your gadgets.”
“Sir, about the mutiny?”
The Director chuckled and waved his hand in the air. “Taken care of.”
Dhalgren nodded. The two agents approached the door.
“Boys, be careful.”
“Alright, now how do you feel?”
The young lad’s face had turned a bright shade of blue. “Sleepy.”
Monsoon leaned back and smiled. “Excellent. You are dismissed.”
The young lad stood up to leave but then collapsed on the floor unconscious.
“Now there’s a kid who can’t hold his Vodquil.”
“I thought you were told to stop experimenting on the interns?”
Monsoon turned around. “Ah, Agent Dhalgren, I believe that’s none of your business.”
“Well, is it my business to remind you that we wear pants here?”
Monsoon shrugged. “No shoes. No pants. Happy Monsoon.”
Alvarez glanced around the lab. “Where is Soups?”
Monsoon smiled. “Gathering the tools you two will need on your Paris trip.”
Dhalgren grimaced. “You see, when you smile like that, I start to believe the rumors of you being part gypsy.”
Monsoon brushed Dhalgren off. “Relax. Ah, here’s Soup right now.”
Soups entered the room and nodded at the two agents. “Gentlemen, your tools of espionage.”
He handed Dhalgren and Alvarez two identical briefcases. The two agents opened their cases revealing a sharp blade.
Monsoon raised his hands in defense. “You think we have the budget for guns? Who do you think you work for? Deadline?”
Alvarez shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind Variety.”
“I am disgusted… but here.”
Monsoon handed them each a small bottle filled with a murky liquid.
“And what in god’s name is this?” Dhalgren asked.
“Vodquil Mark XII. Drink this and it will give you what I call Monsoon Vision.”
“Yeah, that’s what I want.” Dhalgren said pocketing the liquid.
“Thanks, Monsoon. Soups.” Alvarez said. “Wish us luck.”
EIFFEL TOWER – PARIS
August 1, 2018 – 2345 HOURS
Dhalgren and Alvarez walked over to the popup bagel shop. Karlston was busy munching on a whole wheat delight.
“Are you always stuffing your face?” Dhalgren asked.
“Are you always so moody?” Karlston said. “I swear our mission in Wales changed you.”
“Has Pops made contact yet?” Alvarez asked as he ordered a bagel.
“Not yet. Does anyone have idea what she looks like?”
“The Director just said Pops. So like a father? Maybe he’ll bring kids with him?” Dhalgren said.
Alvarez bit into his bagel. “Damn, this is good. Who knew a bagel shop would still be open at at midnight.”
Karlston opened his mouth and then looked at Alvarez. “That is unusual.”
The three agents turned to the bagel vendor. The darkness made it hard to make our the vendor’s features.
“Do we have confirmation saying?” Dhalgren asked.
Karlston begun to answer when he grabbed his chest. He collapsed to the ground unconscious. Dhalgren knelt beside him and checked his vitals.
“He’s going into cardiac arrest. Alvarez, call base… Alvarez?”
Dhalgren looked back to see Alvarez pounding his chest as his face turned purple.
“Dammit.” He looked at the vendor. “You.”
The vendor stepped out from behind his bagel stand and smiled. The moonlight caught his face revealing a slight scar underneath his right eye. His right hand brandished a trio of bagels.
“Order up.” He said.
The vendor flicked the bagels directly at Dhalgren. Dhalgren dove onto his knees and avoided the first two bagels but the third one hit him square in the jaw. Dhalgren hit the ground. He tried to stand back up but the vendor kicked him in the chest.
Dhalgren spat out some blood. “You’re obviously not Pops.”
The vendor smiled. “Well, that’s not exactly true.”
The vendor pulled out a long knife. It glistened against the moonlight. “My friends do call me Mr. Po—”
A revolver connected with the vendor’s head. The vendor muttered something in french and collapsed to the ground beside Dhalgren. Dhalgren looked up but the mysterious savior had already moved over to Alvarez and Karlston. He watched as the savior injected them both with something. Alvarez and Karlston’s eyes fluttered open. They looked at each other and then at the savior.
“Who are you?”
The savior pulled back the hood revealing the face of a woman. “Pops.”
The three agents stood up.
“You’re Pops?” Karlston said. “But you’re a—”
“Woman?” Pops said. “Wouldn’t that be the last thing enemies would expect?”
“She has a point there.” Dhalgren said. “Nice to meet you.”
Alvarez and Karlston shared the same sentiments. After all, she had just saved their lives.
“What should we do with bagel boy?” Dhalgren asked.
“Leave him. I’ll deal with him when I get home.”
The three agents looked at her confused.
“Oh,” Pops said. “That’s my husband.”
“Uh, what?” Karlston said.
Pops sighed. “It’s complicated. Either way, I disarmed him meaning he’s in charge of the children tomorrow. I could use a spa day.”
Pops looked at the night sky. “Anyway, we need to move fast. Follow me and I’ll show you the site.”
Pops took off down the street. Dhalgren, Alvarez, and Karlston looked at each other.
“Can we trust her?” Karlston asked.
“Proceed with caution, boys. Proceed with caution.” Dhalgren said.
The three agents took off behind Pops unaware of what exactly they were walking into.
To be continued in next month’s Overview.
A lot of great content this month! As always, a huge thank you to the returning talents of Poppity, Sailor Monsoon, Vincent Kane, King Alvarez, M. Karlston, Mister Splendiferous, Bob Crawley Jr., TheDeadFellow, Mark Naff, Joe Newman, Linda Owino and BB Ben. You are all one step closer to that cappuccino machine.
Let’s give a warm welcome to two new writers at FilmExodus: Patrick Ellis and Daniel Green.
As you can see, no revamped Overview. Alvarez and I have both been extremely busy, so we are instead aiming for a 2019 relaunch. Stay tuned!
The first Summer Wager was a huge success! Shoutout to our top 3 winners: J-Mart, joethehobo, and Tarek! Shoot me an email at email@example.com to collect your prizes!
Otherwise, I am really digging the content being produced on FilmExodus. There is something for every taste in film. Keep up the great work all of you!
Until next month.
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