These are jokes about what I think the premise of these movies would be based on the title. If you have a better joke for a certain title, I will replace it up to a week after the original post. Best Joke wins.
This week we’re covering John Travolta’s career (excluding documentaries and short films). Some movies have been excluded as they have been covered before or for reasons of Taste. If you have a suggestion of who you think we should cover next, please leave it in the comments down below.
The Devil’s Rain: The Devil decides to install a sprinkler system in hell in case there’s an unwanted fire.
Carrie: Carrie White (Sissy Spacek) becomes a female weightlifter. Johnny T plays her opponent.
Saturday Night Fever: Travolta contracts a fever from too much partying.
Staying Alive: Story of the few survivors of Saturday Night Fever, which has eliminated a significant portion of the population.
Grease: Johnny T starts a grease fire to save his hot dogs.
Moment by Moment: Johnny T and Lily Tomlin keep making up the movie as they go along with mixed results.
Urban Cowboy: A Cowboy goes to the big city, only to find that there’s no cattle drive there.
Blow Out: Johnny T works at De Palma’s fake blood store and they’re having a massive Halloween sale. They’re practically giving away blood for low, low prices.
Two of a Kind: Johnny T cannot find a pair of socks that match.
Perfect: Sequel to Two of a Kind. Johnny T plays a man trying to meticulously organize his sock drawer.
The Experts: Johnny T and Kelly Preston play professionals who know nothing about their subject, despite claiming to be experts.
Look Who’s Talking: A movie about Hypocrites contradicting each other.
Look Who’s Talking Too: The Hypocrites run for Congress, which seems to be the perfect place for them.
Look Who’s Talking Now: The Hypocrites travel into the future to a hopelessly contrarian society.
Shout: A Man who’s lost most of his hearing (Johnny T) keeps yelling at people.
Eyes of an Angel: Johnny T plays a man who regains his sight after visiting a prostitute named Angel.
Pulp Fiction: Documentary on what terrible secrets the orange juice market won’t tell you.
Get Shorty: Biopic of Peter Dinklage. Shaquille O’Neill plays Peter’s best friend, while Travolta plays his agent.
Michael: Michael (Johnny T) decides to change his name because it’s so boring.
Phenomenon: Johnny T debunks theories of ghosts, ghouls, and vampires until one of the them turns out to be true.
Broken Arrow: Johnny T takes up archery and finds that he’s not very good at it.
Mad City: Mad magazine’s take on New York City in the 1990’s.
She’s So Lovely: Johnny T keeps charming his way into women’s beds until he meets Sean Penn.
A Civil Action: An action film in which the characters have very polite car chases.
The Thin Red Line: Johnny T draws a line in the sand using his blood.
Primary Colors: Red, Yellow, and Blue decide to have a threesome to create a new color.
The General’s Daughter: Story of a General’s irresponsible daughter and the Man (Johnny T) assigned to keep an eye on her.
Our Friend Martin: Johnny T becomes friends with Martin Lawrence after seeing him in Will Smith’s new movie.
Battlefield Earth: The World becomes a battlefield after Scientologists declare war on the Human race.
Lucky Numbers: A leprechaun (Johnny T) finds his lucky numbers in a fortune cookie.
Domestic Disturbance: Animated film. A House (Johnny T) keeps getting broken into by robbers.
Swordfish: Hugh Jackman challenges Johnny T to an underwater duel, using his weapon of choice: the swordfish.
Austin Powers in Goldmember: An employee at the power company (Johnny T) becomes obsessed with gold.
Basic: Joey Basic (Johnny T) has to deal with how shallow he actually is.
Ladder 49: A Ladder Manufacturer (Johnny T) gets sued after Ladder 49 collapses.
A Love Song for Bobby Long: Johnny T writes a love song for the tallest man in the world, Bobby Long. Critics loved making tall puns about this one.
The Punisher: Travolta plays a very strict parent who cannot discipline his rebellious son (Thomas Jane).
Be Cool: A Giant Ice Sculpture (Johnny T) has to get to Antarctica before he melts.
Lonely Hearts: Two cardiologists fall in love, only to discover that there’s bad blood between them.
Wild Hogs: Travolta and Tim Allen voice pigs searching for truffles.
Hairspray: Bug Spray Salesman (Johnny T) decides to open a salon.
Bolt: Zeus (Johnny T) loses his ability to shoot lightening, as a result of his impotence.
Taking of The Pelham 123: Johnny T has his Pelham account hacked due to his ridiculously easy password.
Old Dogs: Johnny T and Robin Williams voice Sheepdogs with arthritis.
From Paris with Love: Paris (Johnny T) decides to write love letters to as many women as possible until one responds.
Savages: A mild mannered Zoologist (Johnny T) turns into a beast when pushed too far.
Killing Season: A Hunter (Travolta) gets bored with hunting deer and decides on a new target: man. Reported to be Dick Cheney’s favorite movie.
The Forger: Johnny T creates fake paintings of Dogs playing Poker to sell to Quentin Tarantino.
Life on the Line: Johnny T performs a high wire act.
Criminal Activities: An Inmate (Johnny T) starts a prison exercise program.
In the Valley of Violence: A Villager (Johnny T) from the mountains has to fight wild beasts from the valley. A Reporter from the Kansas Prairie called it unrelatable.
I Am Wrath: One of the Seven deadly Sins, Wrath (Johnny T), decides that he dislikes being vengeful and sets out on a spiritual journey with Lust and Sloth.
Gotti: Travolta plays the inventor of the Gotti, a new Italian cookie.
Trading Point: A Barterer (Johnny T) finds that he has lost his will to trade.
Not featured: White Man’s Burden, Face/Off.