Monsoon-A-Day: ‘Night of the Bloody Apes’ 1969

The hardest part of my reviews is knowing where to begin. Because if you watch the films I watch, a simple plot synopsis isn’t enough. Because there is no plot to most of these films. Night of The Bloody Apes has a plot but barely. Roger Corman would be proud of the pennies stretched in this.

The film starts with our heroine getting ready for a wrestling match. Because she’s a wrestler. Remember that for later because it will not factor into the plot in any way whatsoever.

The match goes on for what seems to be an eternity until our heroine beats the opponent into a coma. Maybe she’ll use these incredible moves on one titular Bloody Ape…? Spoiler alert: She doesn’t.

Scene transition. Old man at a zoo shoots a gorilla. 5 dollars to anyone who can guess why. Go ahead. Take a wild fucking guess. Did you guess the old man’s son was dying of leukemia and the only thing that will save him is a fucking gorilla heart transplant?

Of course you didn’t. Because you’re not René Cardona and you don’t huff paint for breakfast.

Because the producer rented a gym and they were going to get they’re monies worth: More wrestling that has fuck all to do with the plot. But after the match you find out the heroine’s boyfriend is the cop investigating the disappearance of the gorilla. Brilliant plot device. Billy Wilder should take notes on how to connect the A plot to the B plot from this film.

The old man uses Science magic to save poor lil Julio but Science is a fickle bitch. Just like a 12 year old Sailor, it does what it wants. And apparently it wants to turn lil Julio into a Rape Monster. A Rape Ape if you will.

Lil Julio Rape Ape breaks loose and goes on a rape rampage and Old man questions whether a gorilla heart was the best idea. Seriously. “I probably should’ve just used a human heart.”–Old Man quote. Why the fuck did he think a gorilla heart would fix leukemia? And how does a heart transplant fix cancer? Surprisingly, no explanation is given.

The Old Man kidnaps the wrestler in the coma from the beginning of the film (Full circle. Brilliant.) And gives Lil Julio Rape Ape another heart surgery.

It’s a success!

For about five minutes.

And then for unclear plot reasons, He’s back to monster form.

He escapes (Again) And goes on another rampage (Again) until he decides to kidnap a kid and climb a building with him. He drops the kid and the police shoot him.

Credits roll.

The King Kong ending is so abrupt, it’s pointless. He’s never kidnapped kids before and then all of a sudden he decides this is how he wants to end a Saturday night. But the most baffling part is not that he kidnapped a kid, It’s that the heroine didn’t wrestle Rape Ape. You literally have her in the movie for wrestling scenes to pad the length. You could’ve had a cool King Kong twist, Where Rape Ape captures the detective and The Heroine has to rescue him with wrestling moves.

But what do i know. I didn’t direct 145 Mexican exploitation films, So obviously I know nothing.

Fun Fact: The two heart transplants shown in the film are real. For some reason they decided to use real stock footage and that landed the film in the Video Nasty Catalog where it was banned for 30 years.

The world was deprived this masterpiece for 30 years. What a shame.