Monsoon-A-Day: ‘Rats: Night of Terror’ 1984

Welcome to Monsoon-a-day.
Where I watch and review a movie a day.

Day 25

 

Rats: Night of Terror is the answer to the question: “What do you get when you team up a director who’s commonly referred to as “The Italian Ed Wood” with the Director of Troll 2 and give em a whole bunch of rats.” Why anyone would ask that question is beyond me but someone did because this film exists.

For some reason, the Italians have a hard on for post apocalyptic films because they use to crank them out faster than Takashi Miike shits out crazy. And that’s a lot. But this post apocalyptic film is different From the rest because it has rats. A fuck ton of rats. Picture Mad Max but you know….with rats.

Fucking rats man.

The movie opens with some expositional text explaining that there was a catastrophic event that devastated all five continents and the survivors had to live underground for centuries until they had enough of that Bullshit and started going above ground.

Underground….like rats….?

Damn, that’s some deep symbolism.

The survivors are searching the dilapidated buildings of Diamond City for whatever loot they can find and immediately find rats. Rats in an abandoned refrigerator. Rats eating a corpse. Just fucking rats. So many goddamn rats.

They find a couple more corpses and get a computer working. They look at some plants and there’s a good amount of walking and talking. It’s Bullshit filler but a couple decide to go outside to have sex. You would expect that this would lead to rat death but you’re wrong. Because you’re stupid.

No, What happens is, they get into an argument, he storms off and she goes back inside. And then someone completely unrelated gets eaten by the rats. And then they get eaten. Genius.

At this point, the group comes to the conclusion that they might have a rat problem. They try and leave but the rats have eaten the tires of their bikes. They decide to go back inside and barricade the doors and windows. Barricade themselves inside. Where the rats are. Genius.

The group is trying to figure out what drove the rats crazy and someone gets to close to a window they didn’t barricade for some reason and you can totally tell someone is just holding a bucket of rats and dropping them ontop of this poor actress.

They try and find supplies to help her, there’s a little mutiny amongst the group, some rat murder and maybe a sec scene. I can’t remember.

They then decide to go find a guy i don’t remember being in this and find him dead. And then he explodes. Like a piñata filled with rats.

The group tries to leave again, and the plan goes terribly downhill quick and three die. Two by explosion and one by suicide.

They double back to the computer room and lock themselves inside. They find an old recording by the researchers that were originally there. They explain that the rats became super intelligent and learned how to hunt humans.

Meanwhile outside, Some scientists are killing rats. The group uses a dead body to break down a door and are rescued by the scientists.

 

 

Sike bitch. They rats.

 

Best. Ending. Ever.