Monsoon-A-Day: ‘Twice Upon A Time’ 1983

Welcome to Monsoon-a-day.
Where I watch and review a movie a day.

Day 26

On my quest to watch as many obscure or forgotten films as i can, you sometimes find that diamond-in-the-rough that time forgot. That hidden masterpiece that somehow got lost in the shuffle. More often than not, it happens with animated movies that are a slightly against the grain. That dare to do something new. Whether it’s tackling controversial subject matter Disney wouldn’t touch or just being a little too crazy for mainstream cinema. You would think Twice Upon a Time would be better remembered considering it was produced by George Lucas, Who was hot off of the success of Return of the Jedi. Why isn’t it more popular and why haven’t you heard it?

Because it fucking sucks. That’s why.

I don’t like throwing around the term “Sucks a bag of dicks” when describing a film but my god. This film. Sucks all the dicks.

I just watched it and i honest to god cannot remember a single thing that happened in it. I remember moments but the connective tissue that ties everything together, You know, the plot? I can’t remember it. Something to do with dreams and something to do with time. That’s all i remember.

This film is so shitty, stool analysts use it as a chart to diagnose poop infections. Thats why you haven’t seen this film, It’s hanging on the wall of proctologists offices. It’s on the chart with all the different kinds of poo. It’s in the middle between the weird gray one you sometimes get and the one filled with corn.

If you go on imdb, you’ll notice it has a score of 7.1.

That’s higher than the film The Eagle Has Landed.

That’s higher than Enemy.

Higher than eXistenZ.

Macbeth? (2015) It’s higher than that

Logan’s Run is a classic of science fiction and wouldn’t you know it, It also is lower.

It’s even higher than Under The Skin.

 

I’m angry and I’m running out of things to say. This film is shit.

 

Don’t watch it.