Nicolas Cage’s Fake Filmography: Jokes Based on the Title

Here are jokes based on the movie titles of Nicholas Cage. Since Cage has such a long and extensive career, some titles have been omitted for time, relevance, or taste to focus on the greatest hits of his career. If somebody has a better joke, I will replace it up to a week after the original post.

Fast Times at Ridgemount High: Stoners race cars at the Ridgemount track.

Valley Girl: World class mountain climber Cage falls for the wrong woman.

Rumble Fish: Cage gets a new sound system shaped like a big mouthed bass.

Racing with the Moon: Superman challenges Neil Armstrong to a race around the moon.

The Cotton Club: Animated film. Cage plays a sheep who goes to a wolf’s house, carrying a club.

Birdy: Cage plays an ornithologist looking for a rare species of bird.

The Boy in Blue: a story about impotence in the blue man group.

Peggy Sue Got Married: A woman keeps getting married to guys who look similar. Cage plays all her husband.

Raising Arizona: Story of Cage trying to plant a rain forest in Tucson.

Moonstruck: Sequel to Racing with the Moon. Neil Armstrong teams up with Batman to beat Superman in a race around the moon.

Vampire’s Kiss: Cage plays teenage Dracula as he learns to overcome his shyness around the opposite sex.

Time to Kill: Cage decides he must destroy all the clocks in the world.

Fire Birds: Cage plays a puppet who keeps getting set on fire by some birds looking to build their nest.

Wild at Heart: Medical documentary about Heartburn in lions. Cage narrates.

Honeymoon in Vegas: Cage gets married to Elvis on a lark.

Deadfall: stock footage of people falling off a cliff.

Red Rock West: Cage plays a crazed former astronaut who mistakes Red Rocks for Mars.

Guarding Tess: Cage must guard Tess, a Rock star’s prized guitar.

It Could Happen to You: PSA about all the terrible things that could happen to you if you smoke weed.

Trapped in Paradise: Cage decides to go to the slums after he decides that he has life too good.

Kiss of Death: Cage keeps killing people with his rotten breath.

Leaving Las Vegas: Sequel to Honeymoon in Vegas, where Cage gets divorced from Elvis and marries Madonna.

The Rock: Cage sells crack cocaine to geologists.

Con Air: Cage sells air to Planet Spaceball.

Face/Off: In this Freaky Friday-type body switch comedy, a cop and a criminal switch lives and realizes how difficult the other person has it.

City of Angels: In this adaptation of Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Under the Bridge, Cage plays Flea the bassist.

Snake Eyes: Cage grows Snakes for eyes and uses them to torture people.

8mm: Nicolas Cage can’t decide whether to buy a gun or a camera.

Bringing Out the Dead: A zombie movie in which Cage finds a potion to reanimate the dead.

Gone in 60 Seconds: Cage has a minute to leave town.

Captain Corelli’s Mandolin: Cage plays mandolin to sooth the audience to sleep.

The Family Man: The Highbrow movie version of Family Guy. Cage plays Peter Griffin as stuffy and uptight.

Christmas Carol: The Movie – Carol must decide whether or not to celebrate Christmas. Cage plays Santa Claus and scares every kid when he visits their house.

Adaptation: A monkey evolves into Cage over time.

Sonny: Music video of the Bobby Hebb song, in which Cage sings it like William Shatner.

Matchstick Men: Cage plays Father Match in a box of matches. He must learn to control his temper and not set his children on fire.

National Treasure: Cage sets out to find a buried treasure, only to discover that the true treasure comes from within. Audiences felt ripped off.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets – Cage goes to his local library to find a book, only to discover that knowledge comes from within. Audiences could not believe the studio made a sequel.

Lord of War: Cage plays a peace activist who declares war on the United States Military.

The Weather Man: Cage plays a man who has a literal rain cloud hanging over his head.

The Wicker Man: Serious drama on deforestation. Cage plays an environmentalist looking to meet some ladies.

Ghost Rider: Cage voices a car that spirits drive around in and talk about their problems.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance – The spirit of a dead teen gets ahold of the ghost car and uses it to hit mail boxes.

Next: Cage reads what the next program on TV will be.

Bangkok Dangerous: Cage’s only porn film in which he delivers Thai food to bad parts of town.

Knowing: Cage plays a man ignorant to everything in life.

G-Force: Cage teams up with the characters from Sesame Street to find the missing letter G.

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans – Grand Theft Auto-type Video game in which Cage kills lots of drug dealers for free drugs.

Kick-Ass: Cage plays a proctologist who works primarily with his feet.

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice: Scathing look at the Disney corporation. Cage plays the mistreated assistant to Mickey Mouse.

Season of the Witch: Cage plays the wicked witch of the west as she has to deal with kids trying to trick or treat at her castle.

Drive Angry: Documentary on road rage. Cage was forced to do it after one too many traffic incidents.

Trespass: In this Joel Schumacher film, Cage plays a cat burglar who dons spandex to steal from various houses.

Seeking Justice: In this heartbreaking story, Cage chases after his lost pet sloth, Justice.

Stolen: Cage voices a ten-dollar bill stolen from a bank vault by robbers. Cage must find a way to make his way back home to the bank.

The Croods: Sequel to The Rudes.

The Frozen Ground: Cage goes Ice fishing.

Joe: Joe Newman tries to get his face on a bottle of Salad dressing.

Rage: Nicolas Cage teaches the audience how to express anger in multiple ways throughout this informative documentary.

Outcast: Cage gets a cast on his arm after breaking it while blackout drunk outside.

Left Behind: Cage plays a man abandoned by his dog for a richer owner.

Dying of the Light: The story of bats taking over the world.

The Runner: Cage plays a jogger who accidentally gets stuck in a marathon.

Pay the Ghost: Cage owes two years back taxes. The IRS sends their best Supernatural investigator to haunt Cage.

The Trust: Cage and his siblings must wrestle to win the trust their wealthy dead father left them.

Dog Eat Dog: the sick sequel to Lady and The Tramp.

Army of One: Cage learns how to multiply himself at will and uses that power to fight multiple battles.

Arsenal: Cage stocks up for the end of the world.

Vengeance: A Love Story – Cage falls for a Charles Bronson lookalike who’s looking to avenge his dead father.

Inconceivable: Wallace Shawn tries to remember what he said in the Princess bride as he visits a fertility clinic. Cage plays a doctor there.

Mom and Dad:  Cage must contend with his rotten old parents after they move in with him.

Looking Glass: Alice must find the white rabbit, who has joined a 1970’s pop band. Cage plays Alice in a gold wig and blue dress.

The Humanity Bureau: The story of God (Cage) placing humanity in the back of his dresser and forgetting about them.

211: Fed up engineer Cage designs the 211 highways in the shape of a Spring.

Mandy: The story of Barry Manilow’s (Cage) journey to write the song.