The 2017 Summer movie season is over and im kind of glad it was over because it was a drag and movie studios barely putted out big movies this summer especially in August which felt like January all over again! This one of the worst summer’s in history by far and a step back compared to Summer 2016.
This summer was pretty disappointing and kind of lackluster compared to last year and that year was also disappointing and lackluster!
Ok so here are the rules about this list!
Rule 1: It has to a movie that was released in the Summer of 2017
Rule 2: It has to be a movie released either theatrically or on Netflix
Rule 3: Any bad film released in Summer 2017 is eligible!
Rule 4: Have Fun!
Rule 5: Respect everyone’s opinion even if they are different from yours.
Before we get to the best let’s start with the worst!
Top 5 Worst movies in Summer 2017! (In my opinion)
First let’s start with a badly botched adaptation of a fantastic anime!
5: Death Note (Netflix)
I know what you are saying. “How could you put the movie on this list? You just watched it a week ago!”
Yes I know that I watched it yesterday and man was this movie really bad as an adaptation but it was even bad as a stand alone film. I should known it would have been bad when Wingard said the movie had a lot of pointless sex and way too much blood because that was in the anime. I feel like they didn’t even watched the anime or read the manga and then the writers just came up with a story that would sound cool with a movie called Death Note! They got 2 characters right and that was William Dafoe’s Ryuk and L! Light is not as psychotic and not the maniac just like he is in the anime! Mya is an annoying, manipulative psychotic cliche teenage love interest! L is also kind of good but him being a cry baby and scared just makes him weak but the actor did a great performance. Overall the story was awful and this movie should be written in a Death Note and die!
Next up is Sony making another mistake and I don’t know why Stephen King agreed to this!
4: The Dark Tower is… Sony!
Sony sabotaged this film by giving it terrible marketing, releasing a trailer too late to promote the movie!
What’s even worse they wasted fantastic actors in this crap! Idris Elba is fantastic as The Gunslinger and McConaughey was great as The Man In Black. Heck even the child actor is great which surprised me! But combining multiple books into the movie and cramming it all in a short time made it look like it was rushed and that Sony knew it would be bad and they just got over it. Then again Sony has even worse movies than this. We will get to that later! But yeah terrible writing, action scenes that would have been cooler and badass if we had more of them and an awful story make me wish that this Dark Tower will fall hard!
WB did better with IT than Sony would ever do!
3:Wish Upon (Orion Pictures)
“They took a Goosebumps novel and made it into a movie.”- Chris Stuckman.
You know a movie is so bad that AMC Theaters gave free screenings of this movie!
At first I was hesitant and then I went to see it thinking “How bad could it possibly be?”
It was not just bad it was so horrible that I wanted to take that Chinese Wish Box and Wish Upon death after seeing this!
The movie is so cliche that it makes every other bad horror movie look good. The protagonist is and im not kidding the dumbest protagonist in any horror movie ever made and that I have seen! I was happy when she finally died!
Literally her friends tell her that box is evil and that it kills people and that if she finishes the wishes the box will kill her. And you know what she does? She makes 7 wishes and she dies! I predicted all the deaths and the wishes in this movie because this movie was so predictable and you knew who would die and how they would die!
They even had Barb in this movie! She doesn’t die by the way but still what a waste. Laughably bad story! Horrendous acting! Predictable deaths. What’s even worse? They have an end credit sequence teasing a sequel! A freaking sequel to this crap! They also made a likable character stupid and unlikable! Also the deaths are laughably bad and made me laugh out loud an they are bad ripoffs of Final Destination and they cut the deaths short because of the PG-13 rating. I hope Orion never makes a sequel to this movie and that this Chinese Wish Box gets destroyed!
2: Baywatch (Paramount Pictures)
Hey remember Baywatch? That TV Show where David Hassleholf and Pamela Anderson always were running in slow motion? Well now its a comedy full of dick jokes and sex jokes and scenes and is not like the original show at all. The best jokes like always are in the trailers. Also The Rock can never catch a break can he? Zac Effron deserves way better than this. He just did this movie to swoon girls and show off his muscles. This movie is basically 21 Jump Street + Beach + Hot Woman= Baywatch. Paramount has had a bad year so far with a lot of films flopping. This film has only one good thing. Priyanka Choppa as the villain is great and some of the jokes are funny but this film should of been beached and drowned in the salty waters where it belongs. Nothing will ever beat the original Baywatch show and this movie didn’t even try.
Before we get to the obvious #1 here are some dishonorable mentions!
Transformers The Last Knight, Same script made Anthony Hopins look bad next!
The Mummy, Why did they make a first time director make this movie?! Also this movie isn’t scary and we have a damsal in distress cliche and a bad start to a new universe. Universal you can do so much better!
Rough Night gave me a Rough Night after watching this. Also Universal did this premise better with Girls Night which surprised me with how good and funny it was!
King Arthur The Legend Of The Bad Movie! Guy Ritchie had no clue how to make this film and it shows.
Snatched, I feel bad that Goldie Hawn had to be with Amy Schumer for her comeback. Also this movie isn’t funny compared to Trainwreck.
#1 was so obvious that I already ranted on this movie enough so I will keep it short and sweet!
1:Sony Pictures Animation running out of ideas with The Emoji Movie!
Im not going to put the trailer because I don’t want to make you cringe so I will put up a picture instead!
There is no point for this film. This film doesn’t need to exist but it does. What’s even worse this film made a lot of money at the box office. Why?! This film rips off the story of Wreck It Ralph, and Inside Out and it’s a bad ripoff of that story. Also there is a Candy Crush and Just Dance and where the emojis fly on the Twitter bird and Gene’s parent’s go to Instagram. Also they have to go to Dropbox. Are you cringing hard yet? Smiler is a psychopath for some reason. The poop emoji basically describes this movie. Jailbreak is a generic love interest with an edge. Hi Five who made me want to faceplam is the annoying British sidekick. Even the scenes with the humans are unrealistic. You get girls by talking to them not texting them. That’s real life 101! We are not just addicted to our phones! We are not zombies! Also this film kills emojis which after watching this film I wanted all the emojis to die and the people who cancelled Popeye for this to be fired! I don’t want a sequel to this film because then we would have to include dabbing, twerking, and Backpack Kid and Nae Nae and Quan and Whip. Hopefully Sony Picture Animation recovers from this abomination but I doubt it. I will never ever use emojis again after watching this film. Ok I will use them but now I will think of their stupid movie when I use them. Thanks Sony Pictures Animation you ruined Emojis! I hope your happy! Now I have to break my phone to kill all my emojis. Even though my phone is broken by the way. I really need a new phone.
Hopefully Summer 2018 movies will be much better than this disappointing and lackluster summer and it should be because of Avengers VS Thanos and Jeff Goldblum returning to Jurassic Park! Also after over 15 years The Incredibles 2 is finally happening!
Also Fall 2017 is looking great with IT, Justice League, Coco, Blade Runner 2049, and a lot of horror movies!
What is your top 5 worst Summer 2017 Movies list?
Is it the same or different from this list?
Is their any other films that I should have gave a mention or put on the list?
Tomorrow will be the top 5 best movies of Summer 2017. Which again isn’t saying much.
Then I will make a Top 5 most anticipated Fall 2017 movies list! So I can’t wait for you people to see that.
and I will see you tonight at 8PM EST when we roast our first anime movie!
Evangelion 1:11 You Are [Not] Alone!